Most challenging moment as a mama so far.

SO Kaden made it through his needles. It was pretty hard for me…I held him and he actually didn’t react to badly. There are three needles that they get at 2 months. 1 is another Hep B that he had at birth also, and then two others. My doctor said that he doesn’t like to turn them into a human pin cushion and that he is comfortable with only introducing him to ONE new needle at a time (So the Hep B again and one other needle). That being said he gave Kaden two needles yesterday and then we have an appointment for next week to get the last one. He cried when the doctor first put the needles in and then he was fine. The cry was a very loud wailing cry though and it BROKE my heart. It was terrible. I was so glad that he calmed down right away and thought that we had made it through with no problems. HOWEVER, last night when we got home, at first Kaden was doing great.. He even seemed extra smiley. Around 7 (He had his needles around 3) I changed his diaper after a long nap of sleeping in the car seat in the car and then still when we got home, and immediately after the diaper changed he starting bawling uncontrollably. I tried to nurse him but that only temporarily helped and he kept unlatching and crying. It was so hard to hear because I knew that it was from pain as he never cries like that. Eventually we ended up giving him a bottle of breastmilk and that seemed to help a bit but once it was gone he was crying and crying again. In the end we had to give him some children’s advil and I nursed him to sleep around 9:00 or so. He slept on me for a bit and then went into his bassinet. After awhile he woke up again and my hubby fed him a bit more breast milk and then Kaden went back to sleep until 5:30am to eat again and then back to sleep.

He seems to be doing fine this morning but hearing that loud, troubled cry was so hard to hear. I felt so helpless and all I wanted to do was take his pain away. That has been my most challenging moment as a mama so far. Seeing your child in pain and knowing you can’t really do anything but console them.. ahh. Heartbreaking. Now I’m REALLY not looking forward to next week. If only there were some way to protect our children from all of the pain in the world.

Baby’s first needles

Today Kaden goes for his 2 month needles. I am nervous to say the least. He woke up this morning the happiest baby in the world. I heard him making goo and gaa noises in his bassinet and I looked over and he was wide eyed starring at the bunnies hanging from above it. So sweet. It made me happy but also sad at the same time as I realized he had no idea that he was about to get his needles later this afternoon. Everyone tells me that this whole experience will be harder on me than him, but I still can’t get over the fact that even if it’s not “that bad” and “he will be ok”, he is still going to have pain inflicted on him today. Somehow the fact and knowledge that it’s not “that bad” and that “he will be ok” just aren’t good enough. I don’t want my baby to feel any pain no matter what the end result will be. Here he is in all his smiles..

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Memphis in the snow

Poor Memphis has really felt the lack of attention since the baby has come along. She is still our babagirl and we love her SOO much, but the baby is our boy and takes up pretty much ALL of our attention. I really look forward to the day when the baby can interact more with Memphis so she doesn’t feel so left out. She really does love the baby though, and loves to get close to him and watch him.

Today there is a crazy storm coming down out there so when the baby was having a nap we took Memphis out on the step for a bit to play in the snow. She loved it.

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She is always trying to eat snowballs.

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Mama’s turn!

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“Looks sooo yummy Dad! Drop it, drop it!”

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..& it all begins…

So the first blog has to be perfect right? It sets the tone for the way your blog will be going forward, yes? No. Not this time. Every time I attempt something like this it consists of me spending hours coming up with the perfect name for the blog, the perfect user name, deciding whether to use my email or create a special one for the blog, what theme do I want?, what should I begin with?, should I do “this” because what will someone think when they see “that”?..blah blah blah, just write the first entry already because THIS way of doing it, that I have always done, just leads to me getting tired before I finish everything else and realizing I can’t come up with the “perfect” first blog right now, and going to bed, never to think about the blog again. (Wow that was one long sentence). I have started a ton of blogs in my life (if you can call it “started”) and this is how it has always gone. This time I’m just starting. I don’t need the perfect first post to start. As I get going with the blog I am hoping that THEN it will get better and better. Not for anyone else, but for me.

I have always wanted to have a blog. It’s always sounded like a great hobby for me along with learning to knit, reading, scrapbooking ect ect. On December 12/2012 my Fiance and I welcomed our beautiful little baby boy into the world. Since then my life has changed. I figured since I don’t have time for things like knitting, scrapbooking, those kinds of things that take a lot of work and materials and stuff, I figured blogging would be perfect as a hobby at this time in my life, because not only is it a hobby for me to look forward to and to have some time to myself everyday, (surely I can find ten-twenty minutes total a day to blog) but it is a way to document my family’s life to later look back on.

I chose the name “MamaMarney” (well my fiance actually thought of it), but I chose to USE his idea because being a mama is the most important part of my life now. I like it that way and I’m proud of it.

If you found this blog, and you are curious, it will be all about my families adventures and just everyday stuff too. Maybe nothing special to you, but very special to me. :) If you stick with reading it let me know!! I think it is cool to be able to share my families memories with other people from different places around the world.. that is one of my favourite things about blogging and vlogging. So if anyone is reading, enjoy! :) Lets see if this time I keep up with it.

back to my life now.. :)

-MM