It is amazing how being a mom has already taught me so much about myself and about life in general. I think one of the most significant things that I have learned so far is to enjoy the little moments.
Since becoming a mom I have realized that this job is nothing like what I thought. When you decide you want to have a baby, if you are like me, you think of all the times you will spend cuddling, playing and being out visiting and enjoying your life as a family. You think about the bond you will have as a family and how great it will be for you and your significant other to have something that you both created and both love so much. All of these things did happen since having our son, but there is no way that I could have ever been prepared for this mommy role. It is so much more than what I had said I was initially thinking it would be. You don’t think about how tired you will be or how emotionally and physically drained you will become. But it’s also not a bad thing. There are tough days yes, and sometimes I just wish I could get a break, but then when offered one I refuse to take it because this is MY JOB and I don’t feel like my son should have to be away from his mom already. There are days when I just want to be able to do what I want but I feel guilty and there are times at night when I am soo tired from being up with him that I just want to sleep. With all of that being said, It’s such a crazy thing to love someone so much that you would give everything up for, because even on the days when I feel like I want a break, or just want a chance to do my own thing I think, “Well if I had the chance, would I?” and the answer is “No.” Because all of that aside, at the end of the day, all I want is to be a mommy and be with my little boy and my family so it all comes down to the little moments. The moments I’ve learned to really appreciate (not that I don’t appreciate all the moments in my new wonderful life). The moments where I just get to relax and reflect back on how wonderful my life is, and how much it has changed. I’ve learned to appreciate the little moments. The moments with my son, the moments with my fiance, and the moments with just me.
My son napped for 2 hours the other day. He hadn’t done that in weeks and it was so nice to just sit back and relax. I did a little bit of cleaning and had a coffee. It was great! Because I am so busy, and don’t get those times often, I really appreciate them. I used to take my time for granted. I used to just laze around on my days off and not get anything done and then wonder later where the time went. I would feel awful that I hadn’t accomplished the days goals. Since having Kaden it’s not like that. I appreciate the time I have so much more now. Even though I love being with him, I love to be able to have a few minutes to get the laundry done or do some dusting and experience that satisfaction of accomplishment. But most of all, I appreciate the ME time I have. It’s pretty few and far between where I am actually able to sit back and relax and not have to worry about being disturbed. It is so nice to wake up early in the morning, (Like I am right now), even when I am tired, and just sit back with a cup of coffee, watch the sun come up, catch up on blogging or watching vlogs that I watch, whatever I want while I wait for my family to wake up. I used to take it for granted but not anymore and I have my son to thank for that.
I hope this blog entry makes sense and isn’t too ramble-e :) It’s just how I feel.
Being a mother sure changes you and It’s something you just can’t explain to anyone until they experience it because it’s more of a feeling and way of thinking than a physical thing. I feel like I have grown so much and I hear it only gets better. :)